Why I Didn’t Crochet Yesterday

26 Jan

The sequence of events that lead to my not getting anything crocheted yesterday:

1. Husband asked me what my plans were for the day, to which I responded thusly:

“I will be avoiding the laundry, avoiding the pharmacy, avoiding the grocery store, avoiding taking out the trash, avoiding cleaning the bathrooms, and avoiding cleaning out my closets.  I will probably play Farmville.”

2. At about 9:45am (after having blogged, checked my e-mail, showered, emptied and re-loaded the dishwasher, mopped the kitchen (PRO TIP: Do not put the milk in your bowl before the cereal.  It won’t end well), cleaned out the cat box, taken the recycling out, and of course, farmed my little farm), I realized that AVOIDING chores takes more energy than actually DOING them, and decided to act.

3. I headed out, parked Princess Wendy half way between my two destinations (the pharmacy and the grocery), and began my adventure.

4. Nestled between the pharmacy and the grocery, a warm, cozy Subway stood patiently and watched me pass it by not once (from car to pharmacy), not twice (from pharmacy to grocery), not *three times* (from grocery to car, back to pharmacy), but a deleterious FOUR TIMES, and as I made my way back to Princess Wendy, prescription in hand, I caved.  Subway – you complete me.

5. So, Husband and I don’t drink soda.  Or pop.  It’s bad for us – full of sugar, and caffeine, and sugar, and caffeine, and sugar.  Actually, I honestly can’t remember the last thing I ate that had sugar in it at all.  So, I got a Diet Coke at Subway.  So, apparently I’m a sugar lightweight, cuz…

6…. An hour later, my house looked like this:


Can you see me waving?


7. Two hours later I had bagged EIGHT bags of clothing, coats, shoes, books, purses, and random household goods to be delivered to Goodwill.


See that black bag? Yeah, that's an ESPRIT bag. ROCK ON, 1980.

Oh, and this one, too:


that's a cat bed that all cats hate. it's also brand new. I hope someone at Goodwill can use it.

8.  Two hours and twenty minutes later the cat had a small melt down, circled the entire house eighty-seven times at super sonic speed, wore herself out, and fell asleep:

Why use a teeny little bed when I can have this whole big one all to myself?

9. By 4pm the bags were loaded in Princess Wendy, which was ELABORATE, because the bags were on the 10th floor, whereas Princess Wendy was at street level.  Go Go Gadget Workout!  And, as there was no way I was going to head into town at the beginning of rush hour, I came back upstairs, took out the trash, did some laundry, and cleaned the bathrooms while Nina slept off her crazy.


And THAT, my friends, is why there was no time to commit any hookery yesterday.  Melissa + Diet Coke = not so much with the sitting still.  I *did*, however, manage to whip up another version of Chibi’s handwarmers Monday night, so despite my lack of yarn consumption, I still got to spend the day wearing these, which by the end of the week will have a cute applique of some kind on them:


Husband says Handwarmers make me look tough.


I'm so tough I'm practically Mr. T. See that fist? OH YEAH.

Oh, BTW – if you’re interested in the pattern for these hand warmers, I’ll be posting it NEXT FRIDAY (2/4/11), so you’re almost done waiting!


6 Responses to “Why I Didn’t Crochet Yesterday”

  1. miss amanda January 26, 2011 at 8:00 am #

    I think they look like superhero accessories.

  2. auntbethany January 26, 2011 at 11:44 am #

    Hysterical…you may need an intervention to correct that coke problem…

  3. Brenda Wolfe January 26, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    I had several compliments on the handwarmers you made for me today. 🙂

  4. MutantSupermodel January 26, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    Mmmm caffeine and sugar. I’m jealous of your kitty. I have a major de-clutter project coming up next month. Should be interesting to say the least. I regularly donate bags of clothes and errant items but next month should be a doozy. We’ll see!

  5. ferabeth January 26, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

    Yay! I’ve been wearing mine for 2 days straight… So warm!

    Sent from my iPhone

  6. ferabeth January 26, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    Good luck! It’ll be painful, but you’ll feel awesome with less clutter! It’s liberating!!!

    Sent from my iPhone

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