Zoltar the Wise

19 Aug

Zoltar is my Asus laptop.  He is good.  He is wise.  He is often unpredictable, and occasionally does zany things that not even my computer nerd husband can figure out.  Last month Zoltar was (although possibly a bit grudgingly) running Windows Vista like a good lappy should.  Then I got a cute little prompt to update my beloved Zoltar by installing service pack 2.  Worst.  Idea.  Ever.  Luckily my husbandy man, smarty that he is, warned me to back everything up before I did the install (which, for once, I actually did).  Zoltar got very, very sick, and the only thing that could save him was a complete wipe & operating system reinstall.  On a lark (and because Vista is possibly the most inane OS ever) I had my husband install Ubuntu and decided to learn Linux.

By now you probably realize that my computer ability rivals the Pittsburgh Pirates’ ability to win a game.  This probably has something to do with the fact that the computer class I took in college was on Tuesday nights, which just happened to also be student discount night at the movie theatre.  So, after using my new-and-improved Linuxy Zoltar for exactly 18 days now, here are some *really important* things I have learned:

1. A computer that runs Linux is referred to as a “box”.  Because Zoltar will never be *just* a “box” to me, I refuse to let my husband call him that.  I am, as you might guess, mocked for this.

2. Chicks that run Linux, even if they have no actual idea what they’re doing, are SOOOOOOO much cooler than plain old girls running plain old Windows (at least, my husband thinks so).

3. There is, apparently, a difference between Linux and Ubuntu, though so far my husband (and the interwebs) appears to use the terms interchangeably.  I’m thinking it must be along the lines of a square vs. rectangle thing, but I waited too long to ask, and now it would be like asking a co-worker what his wife’s name is again even though this is the third time you’ve had dinner together.

4. There are no friendly pop-ups to warn you when you’re about to do something really, really stupid (for example, two days ago I clicked something that I thought would make an icon disappear and now Zoltar can’t find my camera).  I almost *almost* miss the old Zoltar, who constantly wanted to know if I was sure.  A little “Are you SURE you want to hide your digital camera so Zoltar can’t see it anymore?” pop-up might have been nice.

5. There is such a thing as “close enough” in computer land (apparently Ubuntu does not support the driver I need for my printer, so I have to download a driver for an entirely different printer, which is, apparently “close enough”.  Weird).

6. Ubuntu runs all the same programs as Windows, it just calls them something much more high-tech, so you feel cooler while you’re using them (now I use an “Image Manipulation Program” instead of a “Photo Editor”).  See?  SO much cooler.

7. Billy likes soda.

8. Miss Lippy’s car is green.

So, there you have it.  I’ll be updating periodically with more Linuxy goodness, so stay tuned!  })i({


4 Responses to “Zoltar the Wise”

  1. Brenda August 19, 2010 at 11:18 am #

    You crack me up!

  2. Dave August 19, 2010 at 11:18 pm #

    I agree on #2.

  3. jessyz September 2, 2010 at 6:38 pm #

    Heheheheeh wasn’t Zoltar in the movie Big? Isn’t Linux so much more cooler?

  4. ferabeth September 4, 2010 at 3:08 pm #

    Yes, and Yes! I’ve also fallen madly in love with Firefox & Greasemonkey… Ohh, so delicious!

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